I'm Losing It

I am going crazy. Everything that was my comfort zone and normal is now gone. The rug has been pulled completely from under me. I hate everything and everyone and I just want to curl up and die.

Fuck You

I'm such a bitch. But seriously fuck you, all of you.

22-30-69

Counting down is all I seem to be doing lately. I feel accomplished when I wake up in the morning knowing I am one day closer to something. This entire year has just been one big countdown. Seems pretty wasteful now that I think about it. 22 days until my birthday, 30 days until I'm done with accutane, and 69 days until Australia. The way I look at it, I have sort term things to make the time until Australia go faster. The river, my birthday, Florida, and a bunch of tiny things inbetween.

I'll Be Rich and Beautiful Someday

I'm going to write a book. I will begin with a few short stories about me.

It was a sunny afternoon when I was playing with Nicky by the Graziano's fence. Archie was sniffing around, belly and ears dragging on the overgrown grass. I knew I shouldn't have been kneeling on the ground in that dress but since my mother hated dogs Archie was a rare treat. Nicky was nearby, elbow-deep in dirt, preparing the delicacy that is the mudpie to accompany our hose water tea. Archie's innocent black eyes stared up at me as my pale blue ones stared back, both of us speaking some silent, impossible language. The beagle heard it first. Then I heard the teacups and plates being knocked over as Nicky ran across our tea party and hopped the fence into the Graziano's yard. Then I heard the barking, and it was rapidly approaching. I turned around and saw a golden retriever twice my size coming straight at me. When I turned back at the fence I saw Archie scampering to the other side of the house while Nicky stood frozen staring at me. He knew as well as I that I was never able to climb over the fence. Anytime I had tried I would make it to the top and sit and cry until an adult would scoop me up to safety. I pressed my back against the fence and closed my eyes as the dog launched itself at my little body. She bit my arm and threw me on the ground, scratching my face and ruining my dress. I curled up on my side as she continued to attack me. The next thing I remember was a lady calling out the dogs name and it was all over. I stared up at the trees above me thinking how my mother would kill me when she saw my ruined dress.

Sven Almost Killed The Birds

A random burst of energy caused me to air punch random things while singing the rocky theme song this morning. It wasn't all a waste though, I ended up cleaning my room and my desk (while singing the theme song and punching things.) I think it was the shot of espresso.

I've been floating on a cloud lately. I am so lucky to have someone in my life that I can tell anything, get honest advice from, and that genuinely cares about me. It's the most amazing feeling.

Well this was a boring post.